How often have you sat down to watch a movie, only to find yourself shaking your head at an infuriating depiction of a woman in her 40s, 50s or beyond? Too often, what should have been a fully developed, compelling female character has been reduced to a sad stereotype. Think: the nagging mother with no life beyond caring for her children. The nosy neighbor whose busybody tendencies mask her loneliness. The frumpy office mate who’s overly invested in helping a younger colleague sort out her career and love affairs. Or how about the worst of all—the desperate, oversexed sidekick (There’s Something About Mary, I’m taking to you), the sight of whose aging body elicits disgust.
Enough already. We’re better than that, Hollywood.
Thankfully, with more women directors in the driver’s seat and filmmakers’ perspectives expanding beyond the previously ubiquitous “male gaze,” more films are pulling women over 40 out from the sidelines and into starring roles that reveal them in all their well-rounded, complex glory. Here are some of these flicks, both old and new, that you can stream right now. I’ll be adding to the list regularly, so be sure to keep it bookmarked. For links to the video trailers, click on the film titles.
Everything Everywhere All at Once
Screen icon Michelle Yeoh is at the center of this frenetic, brilliant, ground-breaking new film. A love letter to genre cinema, Everything stars Yeoh as Evelyn, a weary laundromat owner who is under IRS audit. When an alternate version of her husband shows up beseeching her to join a mission to rescue humankind, she begins an emotional and philosophical trip through the multiverse in which she collects metaphysical wisdom along the way. The 60-year-old actress delivers the performance of a lifetime, juggling multiple roles (different versions of Evelyn) and showcasing her wide range of talents, from her fine martial art skills to her impeccable comic timing to her ability to tap into the depths of human emotion. Have a box of Kleenex ready for the final scene with Evelyn and her daughter, Joy (Stephanie Hsu from The Magnificent Mrs. Maisel). And consider yourself warned: You’ll never look at an everything bagel the same way again.
Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris
Based on a 1958 novel, this story of a widowed cleaning lady in post-war London starts out flirting with stereotypes. But the brilliant actress Leslie Manville turns this charming character into someone much more layered in this 2022 adaptation. To her wealthy and wannabe clients, Mrs. Harris is an affable, yet practically invisible fixture who appears once a week to tidy up their homes. However, what they don’t see is that deep within Mrs. Harris a longing for connection, and to be a part of something bigger than herself. One day, she falls madly in love with a couture Dior dress hanging in the closet of a socialite client, and decides to travel to Paris so she can acquire one of her own. The adventure that ensues not only changes Mrs. Harris’ outlook on the rest of her life, but alters the perspective of everyone she meets along the way.
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande
In this Hulu feature, the incomparable Emma Thompson and her formidable co-star, Daryl McCormack, both knock it out of the park. The film is about Nancy, a strait-laced, retired widow (Thompson) who’s never had a fulfilling sexual encounter in her life. She decides to rectify that by hiring a sex worker (McCormack) to show her what she’s been missing. The performances are compassionate, the chemistry between the actors magical, and the underlying message—that human connection is all any of us truly desires, at any age—spot on. The sex- and age-positive film also manages to flesh out Leo’s character without objectifying him or demeaning his profession. As for Thompson’s much-talked-about nude scene: It’s courageous and honest, and the emotional revelation it symbolizes may bring you to tears.
Paris Can Wait
I watched this movie to get revved up for a recent trip to Provence and was pleasantly surprised. This 2016 film was directed by Eleanor Coppola (wife of Francis, mother of Sofia), a veteran 81-year-old documentary filmmaker doing a narrative feature for the first time. Diane Lane plays Anne, the wife of a successful Hollywood producer (Alec Baldwin) and a woman at a crossroads in her life. When an ear infection renders her unable her to fly with her husband, she finds herself meandering from Cannes to Paris with his flirty business associate (Arnaud Viard) in a rickety Peugeot convertible. Naturally, what should be a seven-hour drive turns into a two-and-a-half-day journey of discovery involving mouthwatering meals, picturesque sights and some long-overdue introspection. As the elderly Rose says at the end of another film, Titanic, “a woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.” Only an actress as elegant and nuanced as Lane could so gracefully coax to the surface what’s been hiding out within the depths of her character’s heart.
Wrote one critic of Lane’s performance, “Still an incandescent knockout at 52, she continues to pull off expressing sensuality and sexiness better than most actresses of any age.”
Juanita
The astounding Alfre Woodard stars as Juanita, a hardworking mother of three grown children burdened by troubles in life and love. One day, in search of freedom from the woes that bog her down, she travels to a town called Butte, where she expands her horizons beyond her narrowly prescribed caretaker roles. She embarks on a a romance with a younger man, and, refreshingly, no big deal is made of their age disparity. This heartwarming Netflix feature, which debuted in 2019, is a much-needed reminder that we need more stories about older, WOC heroines whose identities are more than just their trauma. Juanita never lets us forget that all women deserve joy and love, no matter their life circumstances.
Wine Country
Amy Poehler’s effervescent feature directorial debut, which launched on Netflix in 2019, is a celebration of female friendship and an honest account of the joys and miseries of getting older. Rebecca (Rachel Dratch) doesn’t want to make a big deal about turning 50, but her pal Abby (Poehler), a neurotic micro-manager who’s masking her own insecurities, decides that a big deal must be made. So, what was supposed to be a casual birthday weekend in Napa turns into a do-or-die mission to have a good time. During the trip, each character, including Naomi (Maya Rudolph), Catherine (Ana Gasteyer) and Val (Paula Pell) finds herself confronting a life crisis and testing the boundaries of longtime friendship. If slapstick comedies featuring flawed, likable characters is your thing, grab a glass of Pinot and get ready to laugh. One scene featuring Dratch and a raccoon intruder is a standout.
This is 40
I always appreciate a good Leslie Mann flick, but in this one she outdoes herself. Whether her character, Debbie, is making a list of unrealistic goals for herself and her husband Paul (Paul Rudd) to accomplish now that they’ve entered their fifth decade, or becoming Indignant when her pregnancy symptoms are assumed to be signs of menopause, she always manages to keep it real. This 2012 Judd Apatow comedy (sort of a sequel to his earlier film Knocked Up) is a hilarious examination of long-term relationships and the struggle to jointly navigate careers and financial hardships, contend with aging parents and maturing children and, oh yes, keeping the passion burning indefinitely. Piece of cake, right?
Something’s Gotta Give
In this 2003 comedy, fiftysomething playwright Erica (Diane Keaton) finds herself playing reluctant caregiver to her daughter’s much-older music-producer boyfriend, Harry (Jack Nicholson), after he has a heart attack in her Hamptons home (one of director Nancy Meyer’s posh signature settings). Despite their mutual distaste for one another, in between midnight snacks and bickering these kids inevitably develop feelings for one another. But when Nicholson’s perennial playboy hesitates to get serious, a young doctor (Keanu Reeves) swoops in and woes Erica. My favorite scene is when Keaton’s character finally overcomes writer’s block while traversing through her first heartbreak in decades; her agonizing, minutes-long crying-and-typing jag is one for the movies-about-writers hall of fame. Although Nicholson’s character would now, almost 20 years later, be considered more of a cad than a catch, I appreciate that the film directly addresses the ageism that women still face (and most men manage to evade), puts a vibrant “older” woman at the center of a love triangle, and reminds us that both romance and career success are possible at any age.
Enough Said
This 2013 romantic comedy was one of the first to focus on a modern couple over 40 trying to make it work, despite all the baggage one is usually schlepping around by a certain age. The plot: Divorced mom Eva (Julia Louis Dreyfus) spends her days enjoying work as a masseuse but dreading her daughter’s impending departure for college. She meets Albert (the late, great James Gandolfini, in his second-to-last screen role), a sweet, funny and like-minded man also facing an empty nest. Their relationship seems to be off to a good start, until Eva inadvertently befriends Albert’s ex-wife, whose brutal assessment of her former husband starts to color Eva’s own views of her new beau. This sharp comedy explores both the beauty and the mess that often come with opening yourself up again during this stage of life.
The Kids Are All Right
At the time this 2010 flick was released, most reviewers felt compelled to applaud the fact that the plot was centered around a lesbian couple. Hopefully, by now, it’s simply recognized as an excellent film about marriage—a complicated institution with universal perks and challenges. Julianne Moore and Annette Bening are superb as Jules and Nic, a couple that’s been together for two decades and are raising two kids; each of them gave birth to one of the children using the same anonymous sperm donor. Their relationship is generally solid, despite some midlife angst starting to bubble up in both of them, and their home life is happy and relaxed. That is, until the children decide to seek out their birth father, played by the always-affable Mark Ruffalo, and mayhem ensues. The intelligent dialog and convincing portrayals make this a worthy contender for best story about long-term relationships and family.
